Aaahh!!

I just wanted everyone to understand this difficult battle that's going on in my life right now when it comes to taming my sweet tooth. I told you yesterday that I was trying to opt for fruit instead of the ice cream...well, last night I did have an orange, but I'm pretty sure it was canceled out by the piece of oreo pie that I ate. (My husband made it! I had to try a piece so I wouldn't hurt his feelings!) Anyway, then I dreamed last night that we ate the oreo pie and THEN we went to Baskin Robbins too! Unfortunately it was only a dream...Then today when I went to get the mail from the mailbox...this was in it!



I personally think it's a sign from God telling us that Baskin Robbins really is a healthy part of our diet. Bryant said it might be the devil tempting us, but I said nah! Either way, we're keeping the coupons! And next Wednesday, at all BRs it's 31 cent ice cream scoops! Don't ask me how I know this, I just do! I'm telling you, I'm in a bat-tle! Thanks for letting me vent.

Random Thoughts...

My husband and I attended a rehearsal dinner for a wedding this past Friday night, no joke, someone had taken every photo the bride and the groom had ever taken of themselves and put them to music. They had 6 videos!! I'm not even kidding! At aleast one of the picture videos had more than 1 song! We had to just sit and watch 5of the 6 videos in a row. This was after already arriving to the dinner later than scheduled, waiting another 30 minutes for the guests of honor to arrive, and waiting as they sent someone to get a computer that would actually play the video dvd. Fortunately for us, the 6th video didn't work at all...I think I might have had to shoot myself in the foot if it had. We started the night with the 5:30 rehearsal and got home after 11. My husband then had to arrive at the church the next day at 2:30 for a 6pm wedding! Needless to say, our weekend was pretty much shot. (Like I would have like to have been during those videos!) At least I got 2 new dresses and some new shoes out of the deal! : )

So thanks to my husband, I have developed a sweet tooth for more than candy. Before we were married, I rarely ever wanted to eat cakes, cookies, or ice cream. Now, thanks to him, I am finding it harder than ever to stay away! My latest addiction is this:

Baskin Robbins rainbow sherbert! It's the best and we have been giving the Indians a lot of money lately!! Not only that, but the crazy part is we have 2 Baskin Robbins opening up just down the road. Unfortunately, they aren't open yet so the closest one is about 15 minutes away from us! But that doesn't stop us...no sir. This is how much we are devoted to getting this stuff! It's bad. In fact, yesterday we were supposed to workout together after work. Instead, we found ourselves driving home last night with ice cream in hand asking ourselves..."how did this happen?" We are vowing to grab a piece of fruit tonight when the craving hits. I'm not sure how it will work though. I'm already thinking about making an oreo pie. Hmm...maybe he's not all the problem.

In other news, we bought some plants since it's spring and all and that's just what you do...haha. No, we really did want to add some color. The plants we planted last year died. I think we killed them before we even planted them. So this year, we get to start all over. So we found these really pretty flowers to hang on the front porch...

Pretty right? Except for when we came home the next day, they looked like this...

It's so sad. We try to have pretty flowers. It was a nice thought. Actually though, we watered them and they were revived! I think we got the super flowers! Yay! However, the ones by our front door, I guess we are just going to have to replace...who knew that you actually had to water them??

Yep! They are brown. Officially dead. Looks like we're headed back to the shrub section of Lowe's to spend more money...And the green thumb award goes to The Mays! We bought some flowers for our backyard yesterday. We walked around looking at so many different kinds of flowers and could almost hear them saying, "No, not me!" We found some and took them home though. So far, so good. Only been a day though. I'll let you know how they turn out.

Enough of my random thoughts for today. I could probably keep going except for Bryant and I are heading outside to get some exercise (so we can have our dessert later)...

Things I Learned About Myself

I'm so excited today! It's my favorite day of this week! Not just because the weather is beautiful either...it's because my sweet husband is coming home today! He has been in Destin at a staff retreat (grr). Not only did he leave me, but he left me to go to the beach & didn't take me with him! It's been such a long week...this is the first time we have been apart for that long (4 days) since we were married 17 months ago! In the midst of missing him this week, I actually learned a lot about myself!

First of all, I learned that I don't like staying at home by myself. I kind of already knew this heading into the week, but this week I eliminated any doubt! I promise we never have random, strange noises when he's home! Which leads me to the second thing I learned...

I don't like scary noises. Why does the ice maker in the fridge have to sound like something from a star wars movie?! And why do animals wait until after dark to start making their noises?! Which leads me to the third thing I learned...

I don't like being in the dark. In fact, I never was in the dark the whole time he was gone! Left the lights on 24/7! (Sorry babe, I'll go ahead and apologize in advance for the electricity bill...but it was worth it!) If you've ever had to stay by yourself when you're not used to it...you understand that one!

I don't enjoy having to keep myself company. I'm a pretty boring person when I'm by myself. I don't like not being around people. I really don't know what to do with myself when it's just me and...well, me. Of course there are many things that I COULD HAVE and SHOULD HAVE been doing...but nothing that I wanted to do at home by myself!

I don't enjoy killing bugs. Seriously, I returned home after dropping Bryant off to leave for his trip and I bet I wasn't home 15 minutes before I spotted one of those stupid long-legged bugs that fly! "Really?!" I thought. "There is no way I'm leaving that bug there for 4 days!" (That's what I usually do when I find a bug at home and Bryant's not there...put a cup over it and leave it for him to find when he comes home!) So I mustered up the courage, grabbed the broom, and beat the bug to death, literally. Then got the dust pan and swept it up and threw it outside. Seriously, you can't understand how huge this was for me! I was proud...but I'll be okay to surrender the bug killing responsibilities back to Bryant when he gets home.

I don't like having to make sure the doors are locked at night. Does this bother anyone else? Locking the doors...setting the alarm...those are boy jobs...right? I remembered to do it, but mainly out of fear that someone was going to come in my house and get me if I didn't! (Since we have that problem a lot...not.)

I don't enjoy taking out the trash. I remember during marriage counseling having the discussion about household responsibilities. I also remember Bryant volunteering to be the "take out the trash guy." What I don't remember is discussing what happens when he leaves to go on a trip...Who takes out the trash then? Certaintly not me! My husband loves the surprises that await him when he returns home!

It's no fun to cook for one. Meals for one are boring. It's seriously not worth my time to prepare a fabulous meal just for myself. So I have been eating my meals out, with company because you know I don't want to have to entertain myself...I already feel like I've gained 10 pounds!

When the husband's away, the wife will play! I treated myself to a pedicure on day 1. New make up on day 2. Sleeping late on day 3. And shopping on Day 4! I also had a fabulous sleepover with some pretty special girls and got very little sleep. Splendid! I'm pretty sure all these things helped take my mind off of the fact that Bryant wasn't here with me!

The most important thing I learned while he was away was how much I couldn't live without him! I can't imagine me having to kill bugs and take out the trash! No, seriously...he is so perfect for me. He is the one that God brought into my life, no doubt, to be with forever. There's something in me missing when he isn't here. I love him very much. Before I stop with the mushy...I have to tell you that my sweet husband left me notes and candy hidden all over the house for me to find everyday while he was gone! So sweet! I'm not sure what I did to deserve him! And I will be completely okay if he doesn't leave me again to go on any more trips...I'm not sure I can stand to learn much more about myself!

Elah Sh'maya V'Arah

Confused. That's the word that best describes me today. What in the world is going on in my life? It seems like craziness. There are so many unknowns. I also found myself today slipping back into seeking God for answers instead of just seeking Him. There are a lot of things right now that I'm trying to figure out. I'm thinking, "God, I don't see how you're going to do this." Right now, I want to figure it out for myself and when I try to do that, it just seems like there's no way. But I love that God never gives up on me. He is so patient with me. He always pursues me in getting me to trust Him! I love that about Him! The devil trys to tell me that God doesn't care about me and about my dreams and passions. Ha! If God didn't care about me, why would He keep revealing Himself to me? Here's what He showed me today about my situation. But first I've got to tell you HOW He showed me.

I am a fan of Twitter. Love it. I'm not sure why anyone else in the world would care what I am doing every hour of the day, but I guess it's the same reason I care what almost 100 people are doing every hour of the day. I'm nosy. One of the people I follow on Twitter is the Pastor of Northpoint Church in Atlanta, Andy Stanley. Yesterday he tweeted this: "word of the day: Maya" I read it and thought it was interesting, but didn't think much about it right then. So this is what happened. This morning while the devil was trying to tell me that there is no way in the world God can work all this out in a good way, God reminded me of that tweet. "word of the day: Maya" and told me to look it up. "Umm...okay, God. Sure. Whatever..."

So I googled it and found a lot of stuff about the Mayan people and the Hindus, and mysticism blah, blah, blah...

Me: "Okay, God. You want me to study the Mayan people?"
God: "No, keep looking."

Me: "Okay, there's an article here about how the Mayans predict that the world as we know it will end in December of 2012...is that it?
God: "Haha, no, definitely not. Keep looking."

Me: "Okay, is that word used in the Bible somewhere?"


So I googled Maya in the Bible and it gave me a link to download the Mayan Bible...they think they know when the world will end AND they have their own Bible?! Who are these people?! Definitely don't want to download that...
God: "Look at the bottom of the page..."

And there it was...under names of God...Elah Sh'maya V'Arah. (I think God absolutely gets a thrill out of sending me on wild goose chases...He does this ALL THE TIME! But I love it! It's fun! Especially when He reveals Himself so much through it!)


This is what the link said...Elah Sh'maya V'Arah: The God of Heaven and Earth. The Mighty One is the ruler over the entire universe. There is nothing that is not under His power.

So let's do a little recap...
The devil talking to me this morning: "There's no way God can do that, it doesn't make sense."
Me: "God's not going to do it (losing faith). There's no logical way. Maybe I should just give up."
God: "I am Elah Sh'maya V'Arah: The God of Heaven and Earth. The Mighty One is the ruler over the entire universe. There is nothing that is not under My power."

God, thank you for pursuing me. I am overwhelmed by Your love. Even when things don't make sense and my faith turns to doubt, You step in and reassure me that You are in control. There is nothing that is not under Your power. I can be confused, but thank you that Your ways are higher than our ways, and yes...I love the wild goose chases through twitter and google...You are so much fun!

Seek Him, not Answers

I'm blogging this morning from a local cafe that has become my favorite breakfast spot. Perhaps one of the neatest things about this place is that they let you drink coffee out of a mug...so fun! I just finished my granola parfait and reading through John 14, our L3 reading for today. Thankful today that I don't have to go to work and I have the opportunity to just sit and wait for God to speak to me, there's nothing like it!

John 14:21
"He who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves me, and He who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love Him and will disclose Myself to Him."

So...this is the thought that hit me after I read this verse. It hit me so hard I had to immediately write it down, and it's this: Don't just seek answers from God, seek Him! One way we do that is by following His commands.

There are a lot of unknowns right now in my life, and believe me I have been seeking a lot of answers from God lately! I have even found myself thinking that my efforts to keep God's commands are in vain because I haven't gotten the answers I was looking for. But am I keeping His commands to get something from Him? Am I trying to keep His commands to find out what I am supposed to do with my life, or simply because I love Him and desire to show Him love through my life? According to this verse, if I keep His commands He promises that He will disclose Himself to me. He doesn't promise that if I keep His commands and love Him that He will give me the answers I am looking for, but that He will disclose Himself to me! In other words, I will learn more about Him, about who He is. And you can't learn more about Him and not grow to love Him more!

But what about the answers I need? What about the questions I needed to have answers for yesterday? Trust me, I have lots of those too! But check this, if this verse is true and the Bible is true and God loves us as much as He does. Why do we think He isn't going to take care of His children?

Matthew 7:9-11
"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"

God knows what we need, and He has promised to lead us if we are faithful to Him and obey His commands. He desires to give good gifts to His children, but that doesn't mean that He will do the things we ask. He knows what's best for us, and we can trust Him. He has promised to never leave us or forsake us.

So...let's stop seeking answers from God, and let's just seek God. Let's obey His commands and let Him teach us more about Himself! In my life right now, that means not worrying about what to tell people when they ask me what I'm supposed to do with my life. If God wanted me to know right now, He would tell me. It's not my job to have an answer for other people, it's my responsibility and my joy to serve my God, wait for Him, and seek Him while He may be found.

Sunday's Coming!

Today is the day in between Good Friday and Easter Sunday...it's Saturday. It was spent taking care of last minute preparations for Easter and a family picnic at the park. But not lost in all the activity is remembering the way those that were close to Jesus at the time of His death must've felt. My father-in-law rode in a biking event today called "Silent Ride for Jesus." Bicyclists rode in complete silence in rememberence of the silence and hopelessness that existed after Jesus' death. Pretty cool way to remember Jesus on this Saturday.

I love the fact that on that Good Friday and Saturday...they didn't know Sunday was coming! They didn't know that all hope wasn't lost! They didn't know the hope that was to come! It was Friday...but Sunday was coming!

That's what I love about Easter! It means that forever and ever there is hope for us. We are never without hope. Even when we feel like God isn't hearing our prayers, even when we don't know what to do...we have hope! Sunday is always coming! It will never stay Friday forever...Sunday is coming!

Thank You Jesus for giving us hope in You! Thank You that You endured Friday and Saturday for us, but thank You most of all for Sunday! I'm so excited to celebrate Your ressurection tomorrow! God, please help many people understand Your love for the first time tomorrow!

Ten-a-bra-what?

It's nearing the end of holy week. I always feel like I haven't done enough to prepare myself to really remember the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. Our church put out a booklet for this week, with Scriptures to read everyday. We began the week remembering that we are God's special and unique creation. He created us in His image. Then we moved on to the fact that God is so big and huge, He created the universe! Yet, He chose to make us, delight in us, and send Jesus for us. We've been focusing on the realization that Jesus gave Himself up for us...willingly. Wow, amazing.

Tonight, we will be having a Tenebrae service at Pinelake. Ten-a-bra-what? You might be asking...yea, that's what I thought when I first heard of it this time last year. The word Tenebrae is Latin for "shadows" or "darkness." It is also called a service of shadows for this reason. It sounds kind of morbid traditional, I know. The service is a gradual extinguishing of different candles after a portion of Scripture is read. At Pinelake, the verses will be on the screen after we take communion together, so the verses are read in silence. At the end of the 45 minute service, everyone leaves in silence. This is so different than any other thing we do at Pinelake, but I think it's so good to make yourself quiet down and meditate on these verses as gradually the light from the candles go out, leaving complete darkness and silence.

This is what everyone that was close to Jesus must've felt at that moment. Hope seemed to be extinguished. Gone. Forever. Everything they had built their life upon, the person they had given up their old life to follow...dead. Our Savior...hanging on a cross, unrecognizable. Will my heart ever really, truly be able to feel that agony of losing all hope? I don't know that it will because I have grown up knowing the wonder of the cross. I wear one around my neck, on my fingers, on my clothes...but how often do I stop to make myself feel what these followers of Jesus must've felt?

That's why I'm excited about these last few days of holy week leading up to Easter! We are having a prayer experience at our church all day tomorrow also, if you're in the area you should try to come! It's open to everyone! It's a video prayer experience that will help you try to understand the magnitude of what our Savior did for us on the cross. It's from 6 until 7 tomorrow, a half-hour experience starting at the top of each hour. I will try to post some thoughts about it after I attend tomorrow. I want to leave you with these lyrics from a song that we sang this past Sunday at church that I cannot get out of my head...and I don't want to! The song is by Vicky Beeching called "The Wonder of the Cross."

May I never lose the wonder,
The wonder of the cross.
May I see it like the first time
Standing as a sinner lost,
Undone by mercy and left speechless,
Watching wide eyed at the cost.
May I never lose the wonder,
The wonder of the cross.

God, help us see it like the first time...before we got used to it! Help us remember what it was like to understand for the first time as a sinner lost...undone by mercy...completely speechless! Teach us during these next few days Father!