I'm entering into day 2 of feeling this overwhelming sense of unimportance and smallness. Just being honest here, I have been reading of the accomplishments of others and thinking, "God, do You have something for me? Is there something important for me to do for You?" I'm surrounded by people who are finding their niche, if you will, that place where God has called them to be and to serve Him faithfully. I'm glad for that, I really am. But there are those thoughts of, "God, what about me? I don't feel adequate enough to do something like that, so what are You going to do with me?" Then of course, we are surrounded by Olympians (risking their lives!) to compete for a medal, & the whole world is watching constantly in awe of their courage & speed! Then there's me. Little ole me. I'm currently at home being constantly confused about my calling in life, and trying to tune out the lies of the devil. Not quite the story that would land me in a superhero comic book or movie. Maybe "The Superhero Who Wasn't!" or "Super-Boring Woman!" (Please excuse my vivid imagination!) And then this morning I read...
"The God who girds me with strength & makes my way blameless. He makes my feet like hind's feet, and sets me upon my high places. He trains my hands for battle, so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze! You have also given me the shield of Your salvation, and Your right hand upholds me. It's Your gentleness that makes me great. You enlarge my steps under me, and my feet have not slipped." (Psalm 18:32-36)
Wow! Talk about some superhero powers! But I'm sure this only applies to those people who have really important jobs to do, I mean, David was writing this and he was a stinkin king! Au contraire! The verse right before these verses says that this is what God promises not just to those with an "important calling" in the world's eyes, it's for (v30) ALL who take refuge in Him! That could be me! But it doesn't stop there...
"I pursued my enemies and overtook them, and I did not turn back until they were consumed. I shattered them, so that they were not able to rise; they fell under my feet. For You have girded me with strength for battle; You subdued under me those who rose up against me." (Psalm 18:37-39)
Take that Satan! I bet that hurt a little! That's for telling me things that go against the Word of God!
Here's the thing, we are powerful beyond imagination! God promises us...VICTORY over our circumstances. How can I sit here and feel powerless & helpless when I have these resources available to me? I can't. If I am thinking these things & listening to the devil, it simply means that I am not taking refuge in my God. And why wouldn't I take refuge in Him? Do I really want to stand out in the battlefield by myself & let Satan pelt me with thoughts & accusations until I'm black and blue all over?! That's crazy! When I take refuge in Him, He becomes my shield! He provides for me my superpowers, because He is all-powerful! I may not know what is next for me, but I do know that no matter where I am presently, I have no excuse to feel defeated. God wants us to be superheros. He has equipped us to be!
So here I am God! This is me. I choose to be a superhero today & I choose to take advantage of the power You have given me through Jesus Christ! I'm taking refuge in You, I've got my superhero gear on, & I'm looking up into the sky ready for wherever You want to take me! "I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display My power in you and that My name might be proclaimed in all the earth." Romans 9:17
I totally understand that...feeling as though you can't see the end. But be encouraged- this is from Ps. 69. See how he starts out (much like my prayers have been)("I'm tired of this God!!!When will this end?!)
ReplyDeletev3 I am weary with my crying out;
my throat is parched.
My eyes grow dim
with waiting for my God....
(and then he comes back down out of his emotional pit (where I have recently been) and does the one thing that helps all of this make sense- praise and thank and glorify God... because it's all about Him anyway.- not about our comfort of happiness, it's all about His glory.)
v13 But as for me, my prayer is to you, O Lord.
At an acceptable time, O God,
in the abundance of your steadfast love answer me in your saving faithfulness....
v.16 Answer me, O Lord, for your steadfast love is good;
according to your abundant mercy, turn to me.
v.17 Hide not your face from your servant;
for I am in distress; make haste to answer me...
v.30 I will praise the name of God with a song;
I will magnify him with thanksgiving.
(sorry so long!)
You are an amazing wife, daughter, sister, friend and mentor to so many young girls! HE will reveal HIS plan for you in HIS time, which is not always easy to wait for! Just enjoy the time that you have with your hubby, just the two of you, cause it will fly by! Ben and I will be married for 20 years and the years before kids flew by! Dig into your marriage and grow together!! I am proud to call you my friend!! Love you and miss you much!! Jen
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for the encouragement guys! I really appreciate it! God is being so good to send me the encouragement I need at the right time. Meg- Praying for you guys! Ms. Jen- congrats on the 20 years! That's awesome! Ya'll are so great! I'm trying to remember not to try to rush this moment by constantly wanting to know what's next so much so that I don't enjoy where God has me now! Thanks ya'll!
ReplyDeletePS - Saw Alex last night, I'm so proud of the beautiful young lady she is! Ya'll have obviously done something right!!
I know exactly how you feel about being unimportant, and I pray that the Lord has shown you just how important you really are. What I have to do is step back and realize this: No, I may not be as important as Billy Graham or Bill Gates, but in God's plan, there is SOME very important role - and that is to be a good Christian and to be an example worthy of His praise. We serve an Awesome God, and he'll bring us through it! We're here for something, that's for sure! I'm praying for you friend!
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